Your wedding invitations are the first real taste your guests get of your big day, so it’s worth taking the time to get the wording just right. But between deciding whose name goes first, working out RSVP etiquette, and finding the right words to mention gifts or a dress code, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed before you’ve even chosen how your card looks.
This guide walks through exactly what to put in a wedding invitation, with UK-specific etiquette, wording templates for every style of wedding, and answers to the questions couples ask most. If you’re planning your wedding at Bicester Hotel & Spa, we’re always on hand to help with the finer details, too, from suggesting local stationers to advising on timings for your save the dates.
Wedding Invitation Basics: What Information to Include
Whatever your style, every wedding invitation needs to answer the same practical questions for your guests. Think of this as your checklist before you start on wording:
| Detail | Why it matters |
|---|---|
| Who’s hosting | Traditionally the person or people paying, though modern etiquette is more flexible |
| Couple’s names | The heart of the invitation |
| Date and time | Both the ceremony and, if different, the reception |
| Venue name and address | Include postcode for satnavs and online map searches |
| RSVP details | How and by when guests should reply |
| Dress code | If you have one, guests will want to know |
| Gift information | Optional, but helpful if you have a gift list or prefer no gifts |
| Additional details | Evening-only invites, accommodation information, or a wedding website link |
Not every invitation needs every one of these. A relaxed, informal wedding might drop the formal hosting line entirely, while a black-tie country house wedding will usually include it. The key is giving guests everything they need to plan their day around yours, without cluttering the card.
Whose Name Goes First on a Wedding Invitation?
This is one of the most common wedding invitation questions, but the thing is, it’s entirely up to you.
- Traditional etiquette places the bride’s name first, followed by the groom’s, reflecting the historic convention of the bride’s family hosting and paying for the wedding.
- Modern couples increasingly choose whichever order sounds best, reads more naturally, or simply reflects who’s paying or hosting.
- Same-sex couples aren’t bound by traditional gendered conventions at all, so alphabetical order, whoever’s family is hosting, or simply personal preference all work well. If you’re planning a same-sex wedding with us, take a look at our same-sex wedding venue page for more on how we tailor the day to you.
The only real etiquette point worth remembering is consistency: once you’ve chosen an order, use it throughout your invitations, save the dates, and order of service.
Wedding Invitation Wording Templates
Traditional Wedding Invitation Wording
Formal invitations typically name the hosts, use full titles, and write out the date in full:
“Mr and Mrs John Smith request the pleasure of the company of [Guest Name] at the marriage of their daughter Emily to Mr James Brown on Saturday the 12th of September 2026 at 1 o’clock at Bicester Hotel & Spa, Chesterton, Oxfordshire and afterwards at the wedding reception.”
Modern Wedding Invitation Wording
For a relaxed, casual wedding, feel free to write as you’d speak:
“We’re tying the knot! Emily & James 12th September 2026.
Come celebrate with us at Bicester Hotel & Spa Ceremony at 1pm, party all afternoon.”
Fun Wedding Invitation Wording
If your wedding is all about personality and laughs, your invitation wording should be, too:
“Grab your dancing shoes, we’re getting married! Emily + James 12.09.2026 · Bicester Hotel & Spa.
There will be cake. There will be a bar. There will definitely be dad dancing.”
Christian Wedding Invitation Wording
Couples marrying in a religious ceremony often may a meaningful bible verse or references to faith:
“Mr and Mrs John Smith request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Emily Smith to James Brown in holy matrimony, as they unite before God. Saturday 12th September 2026 at 12 o’clock St Mary’s Church, Bicester, followed by a reception at Bicester Hotel & Spa.”
Wording for Evening Invitations
Many couples invite a wider group of friends and family to join the evening celebrations only, after a smaller ceremony and wedding breakfast. Evening invitations should be clear about timing so guests don’t turn up expecting a full day, focusing on the fun still to come:
“Emily & James got married! Please join us to celebrate at their wedding reception Saturday 12th September 2026, 7pm Bicester Hotel & Spa, Oxfordshire Dinner, dancing, and drinks all evening.”
Our wedding packages offer flexible spaces for both daytime and evening guests, so if you’re planning a wedding with a separate evening party, it’s worth discussing numbers and layout with your Wedding Executive early on.
Wedding Invitations Dress Code Wording
A short, clear line is all you need. Common UK wedding dress codes include:
- Black tie – dinner jackets and long evening dresses
- Morning dress – tailcoats and formal daywear
- Smart casual – suits and smart dresses, no jeans or trainers
- Cocktail attire – knee-length or midi dresses, suits
- Dress to impress – a fun, flexible nod to dressing up without a strict code
Simply add a line such as “Dress code: Black Tie” beneath your other details, or include it on a separate information card if your invitation is already text-heavy.
Gift Wording in Wedding Invitations
Mentioning gifts can feel awkward, but a polite, brief line is completely normal in the UK and guests generally appreciate the clarity:
- “Your presence is the only present we need.”
- “For those who wish to give a gift, we have a gift list at [store/website].”
- “In lieu of gifts, we’re asking guests to contribute to our honeymoon fund.”
- “If you would like to give a gift, a donation to [charity name] would mean a great deal to us.”
Keep this line understated and place it towards the bottom of the invitation or on a separate details card, rather than the main card itself.
Addressing Wedding Envelopes
How you address your envelopes is a small, but important part of wedding invitation etiquette:
- Formal: “Mr and Mrs J. Smith” or “Mr John Smith and Mrs Anne Smith”
- Modern: “John and Anne Smith” or simply first names for close friends and family
- Children included: Add “and family” or list children’s names individually beneath the parents
- Unmarried couples: List both full names, either alphabetically or in the order you prefer
What Order to Put Wedding Invitations in the Envelope
For a polished finish, UK etiquette generally follows this order, with the invitation itself placed face-up on top:
- Main invitation card
- Information or details card (accommodation, dress code, gift information)
- RSVP card, if used
- Reply envelope, if included (stamped and addressed to you)
- Any extras, such as a map or order of the day
Everything should sit inside the outer envelope in this order, smallest cards on top, so the first thing your guest sees when they open it is the invitation itself. For guidance on postage and envelope sizes for larger or multi-part invitations, the Royal Mail size and weight guide is a useful reference before you order stamps in bulk.
Wedding Invitation Quotes and Wording Ideas
Many couples like to include a short quote, phrase, or line of their own words somewhere on the invitation, whether that’s a favourite saying, a line from their vows, or something entirely original. Popular themes include:
- A line about love and partnership, written in your own words
- A short phrase reflecting your shared sense of humour
- A meaningful line from a reading you plan to use in your ceremony
Wedding Invitation Etiquette: A Quick Summary
- Send save the dates six to 12 months before the wedding, and formal invitations three to six months ahead
- Ask for RSVPs six to eight weeks before the big day to finalise numbers with your venue
- Be clear and consistent with names, titles, and the order you use throughout all your stationery
- Keep gift and dress code wording polite, brief, and near the bottom of the invitation
- Double-check spellings of names, venue details, and dates before printing
If you’re getting married in England or Wales, it’s also worth checking the official government guidance on giving notice of marriage, as this affects your legal ceremony date and any requirements around your chosen venue or registrar, separately from your invitation planning.
Frequently Asked Questions
What should I put in a wedding invitation?
At minimum, include the couple’s names, the date, the ceremony time and venue, the reception details if different, and how to RSVP. Optional extras include a dress code, gift information, and accommodation details.
What do you write in a wedding invitation if parents are hosting?
Traditionally, the invitation opens with the hosting parents’ names, followed by a line such as “request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their daughter.” If both sets of parents are contributing, it’s increasingly common to name everyone hosting, or to have the couple host in their own names instead.
How do I word an invitation for a casual wedding?
Keep it short, warm, and in your own voice. Skip formal titles and hosting lines, and focus on conveying the excitement and relaxed nature of the day.
Do I need to include a dress code?
Only if you have one. If you don’t specify, most guests will assume smart or semi-formal wedding attire, so it’s worth including a line if you have anything specific in mind, from black tie to a particular colour palette to avoid.
How do I ask for money instead of gifts politely?
A simple, warm line works best, such as “Your presence is the greatest gift of all, but for those who’d like to contribute, we have a honeymoon fund.” Avoid anything that reads as an expectation.
Whose name goes first on a wedding invitation, the bride or groom?
There’s no fixed rule. Traditional etiquette favours the bride’s name first, but many modern couples choose whichever order sounds best or reflects who’s hosting.
Start Planning Your Wedding Invites (and the Day Itself)
Once your wording is settled, you can send your invitations with confidence, knowing your guests have everything they need to celebrate with you. If you’re still deciding on the venue itself, our wedding venue in Oxfordshire offers a beautiful countryside setting for both ceremonies and receptions, with experienced Wedding Executives on hand to guide you through every detail, from styling to suppliers.
Take a look at our wedding packages to find the right fit for your day, browse our wedding gallery for inspiration, or head over to our guide on wedding decoration ideas once your invitations are ready to send.
Got more questions? Our Wedding FAQs page covers everything else you need to know, or you can get in touch directly with our team.
